I woke up this morning with a hole, like someone had lifted a tray out of me with all my guts in and just left a rectangular shaped space.
I was lying there trying to think about how to proceed, what to do, how to get the vital missing bits back or replace them or function without them.
And then my messy, noisy, irrational bundle of a son came demanding some parenting. What he got was substandard and shouty.
I have apologised. He is now eating his breakfast. I feel bad about it. Which I guess is kind of good, it means I care about getting things wrong.
But I’m still not sure how to fix me, get me started properly today. I’m trying to remember the order of life, dressed – check, eaten -check, drink – in progress. But not sure what the magic space filling, connections reattaching, me making task I need to do is.
As there are no jump leads available I’m going to try a rolling start.