creeping upwards

The last two days have been pretty good around here. The unacustomed sunshine helped a lot. It really feels like spring has come. But also after a week of hectic kids birthday and party stuff and random volunteering which all left me with little time to get on top of things I have been taking some pro active steps to look after myself rather than just running about trying to keep the household from descending further into chaos.

I have been drinking more water and less caffiene. Which may not sound much but I struggle to remember to drink water at all and my dependency on tea and coffee (both with sugar) to get me through the day had been creeping up to unhealthy levels. Whilst a cup of milky tea might indeed be good for someone in shock,l it’s not really a good basis for ones daily emotional and nutritiona needs and probably isn’t good for my rubbish sleep habits either. Today I managed to have just 2 mugs of tea/coffee all day and didn’t get any caffiene withdrawl headaches either (last time I went cold turkey the headache was an all consuming horror) so I’m pretty chuffed. Relatively speaking (I’m not expecting any medals or anything).

Another thing I managed was to go out for a run, two days in a row. Well, I say run, it was more like a slow motion jog, but that’ll do for me. The point is to get back into doing it regularly because a couple of years ago I was managing it 5 times a week for a few heady weeks and I felt loads better for it. Not least it was helping me get up in the mornings. Then I got a chest infection that knocked me for 6 and I got out of the habit. I’ve tried a few times to get back into it but not quite managed it. Recently I’ve run a few times with a friend, which I thought was as good. But last night running on my own I realised that whilst it may be as good for my physical health, if not better (as I’m stretched to run a little faster than I would on my own), it’s not as good for my mental health. When I run on my own I get space in my head to think. I’m not very good at sitting down and doing nothing and giving myself chance to think things through and when I’m jogging along I don’t have any distractions, and I take all my confused thoughts with me and have time to consider some of them.

And this evening, despite/ being out most of the day and the kids being a bit late to bed and going for a run and being tired, I actually made a start on one of the things that I have needed to get on top of for a while but have been avoiding. And I emailed someone regarding it to manage their exepctations of timescales. So that’s kind of a double whammy, doing something and communicating with people about what I’m doing, as opposed to not doing things and avoiding people out of guilt and building up a huge pressure point. Its a small start and there’s more to do, but hey, it’s bedtime now. And the very act of starting it instantly made the whole job smaller.

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One thought on “creeping upwards

  1. Pingback: Ramblings on my inner voices | A is for Anxiety

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