Hmm, my subconcious is giving me a prod. I was just reading One Depressed Mama’s post on Things I Want and found myself replying that I wanted to go a whole day without anyone loosing their temper.
When I’m anxious I don’t cope well with the kids and I’m more likely to loose my temper. Same when I’m tired. And after a while the cumulative effect wears you down, wears a groove into you that you get stuck in and things trigger frustration even when you’re feeling relatively ok.
I sort of am feeling relatively ok at the moment, although I’m aware I haven’t done much Getting On Top Of Things pre-emptive anxiety reducing strategy and now the easter holidays have started so I won’t do for another couple of weeks. But then we’re all a bit demob happy cos it’s the end of term too and some of the stresspoints in the day (such as leaving the house ready for school on time) are temporarily suspended.
Also, I’ve been a bit distracted, staying up all night reasearching stuff about Aspergers and looking for that elusive webpage where they don’t explain the basics of the condition for the umpteenth time but do actually have some helpful advice on how to help all concerned by easing some of the frustrations of life caused by having one member of the familiy who is wired up a little differently from the rest (the frustration is two way). (Even if it turns out that his brain wiring doesn’t fall into the Aspie category there is no getting away from the fact he’s not average and some of his wiring appears Aspie). Did I mention that he does get very frustrated, at seemingly very trivial stuff and has angry meltdowns? (this mornings started with frustration over his ears being blocked and boiled over into growling angry sounds and clenched fists when he remembered that a classmate (that I always thought he didn’t like) was leaving his school at the end of today – hmm, feeling emotion but not being able to label it, where did I read that….) This is some of the anger I want to reduce.
Plus hubby has been feeling run down by a nasty cold thingy after a busy busy winter (at work and at home) that just won’t go away. Which may well be related to all the stress going on at his work. So I’m trying to support him before he comes down with a dose of nutjob flu too. Role reversal time. And guess what, his fuse is shorter when he’s tired and stressed and overloaded at work and home too.
And the other one? It would be a lot to ask a 6 year old girl to be the saving grace of the family. She gets tired and grumpy too and has a hard time accepting when things don’t go her way. Sometimes I have a lot of sympathy for her and other times she is being a completely unreasonable small child.
So, my goal for us all this week is to turn down the pressure, turn up the empathy. have lots of low key moochy family down time and hopefully drastically cut the number of flared tempers. Fingers crossed.