Returning to Normality

We’ve all been away this week. It’s been great to spend time together as a family and I’ve been removed from my triggers and not been anxious.  Of course, the week has not been without it’s moments.  It started with a whole long tiring day travelling which took the kids a couple of days to recover from and had a noticable effect on their behavoir. Thankfully we planned things a bit better this time and it was no where near as bad as last time we made the trip (my overriding impression of that trip is lots of screaming). Staying in another house also has its compromises and it’s hard for the kids just to “be” without their toys around. Plus adapting to another families timescales is always tricky (I don’t think we left the house before 11 and everytime we went anywhere the first thing we had to do was have lunch). But there have been advantages too, lots of extra grown ups around for the kids and I have cooked exactly one meal and washed up just once all week.

However as our thoughts drift towards heading home I have been thinking of things I’d like to get done next week. And once I start thinking of things to get done I keep remembering more things, some of which have been on then to do list for a while. And then I get itchy in my brain, not anxious, more like an “uh oh, this route leads to anxiety triggers best stop now feeling”. Of course the danger is that I will start avoiding thinking about thing which is the start of making big anxiety inducing monsters lurking in the corner of my mind.

So, the challenge, as always, is to strike a balance. To find enough things to do to get me on a roll of doing stuff, but not so many that I hide in a corner. To prioritise some important enough things that are easy enough to acheive without trying to write out a list of everything I can think of that needs doing with the intention of putting them in priority order but instead actually paralysing myself into inaction and guilt.

And then there’s all the housework I want to get on top off alongside this yet without distracting me.

Oh and did I mention that I want to get back into regular exercise and make more of an effort to eat properly after a bit too much comfort eating of chocolate this winter instead of proper lunches.

And not too forget the pile of half finished sewing projects and the even bigger pile of sewing ideas in my head.

So, the challenge this week. Set appropriate goals. Challenging but achievable. In different areas. Flexible enough to cope with family life. And stick to them well enough to make some headway that I can build on next week. Fingers crossed eh?

3 thoughts on “Returning to Normality

  1. I can definitely relate to your experience of traveling with children. The return home for me brings some relief in terms of the kids, but as you say, it increases my anxiety about heading back into “real life” and managing what I need to do.

    I’m the queen of the kind of lists you describe. I call it a “brain dump” where I take everything in my head that needs to be done and spew it all out on paper. I think this is helpful – but you’re right, in the end it just paralyzes me. The question then becomes, how to keep track of what needs to be done without it being such a massive list that you can’t move? My running joke is that I always end up taking care of an item on the list that is priority #217. 🙂

    I think it’s great that you can see the anxiety coming – that you recognize the twitchy feeling before it has grown into full-blown anxiety. That seems like great progress. Your plan of attack sounds very reasonable. At the end of the day, it’s really all about balance, isn’t it?

  2. Pingback: Creeping forward | A is for Anxiety

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