Liebster Lite

So a couple of days ago One Depressed Mama nominated me for a Liebster award, which was very kind of her and made me smile. And then I had to decide if I wanted to take part. See, I’m a bit of a grumpy churlish obstinate so and so at times and I have a problem with chain things that tell you that you have to do something. After a bit of mulling it over I decided I was being childish, a nice person had said nice things about me and had in no way tried to make me take part, I could chose to take part or not and I decided that I would take part. ish

The award comes with some rulessuggestions:

1. Link back to the blogger who nominated you.

2. Answer the 11 questions they gave you.

3. Nominate 11 other blogs with less than 200 followers.

4. Let those blogs know that you nominated them by leaving a comment on their blog.

5. Give your nominees 11 questions to answer.

So, my answers to One Depressed Mama’s questions:

1. What made you decide to start blogging?

To stop myself clogging up the comment stream of Sunny Spells and Shattered Showers. I felt I was leaving rather too many post like comments over there and needed to start a place of my own to put them. Also, when I was at my worst point with my anxiety, around the time I ended up hiding at the bottom of the garden in tears because the phone rang when my husband was there so I couldn’t ignore it, I searched the internet and couldn’t find anything about anyone like me. I’m not so big headed as to think I’m unique in my problems, so I thought if I started my own blog, maybe someone else in the same boat will find it and know that it’s not just them, and that might help.

2. What’s one thing you wish you had known 10 years ago?

Nine and a half years ago I had a miscarriage at 11 and a half weeks. It was my first pregnancy. Understandably it was a pretty shitty period for my husband and me. My son was born about 18 months after my first due date. So I guess I would want to tell myself of 10 years ago that some pretty rubbish stuff was going to happen, but that things would work out ok in the long run. Actually I’m not sure that I would want to know about those events in advance, but that is all I can think about when I cast my mind back 10 years, the main difference between me then and me now, being a mother.

3. What’s one thing you hope you remember 10 years from now?

When my kids were babies and toddlers (they are 6 and 7 1/2 now) I used to get really annoyed with parents of teenage children telling me that looking after babies and toddlers was easy, just wait until they’re teenagers, that’s actually hard, they still keep you awake all night just with worry, etc.. I don’t want to dispute for one minute that parenting teenagers is hard and stressful, I just think they’d forgotten that parenting small people is hard and stressful too, just in different ways. I remember my goal in life was to go to the toilet uninterrupted. I can manage that over 80% of the time now. So, I hope that I’ll remember not to be dismissive of parents of small children (and I hope I can remember what small children are like for much longer too, a lot of problems we had with my in laws were due to them thinking our 1 year old was naughty because he didn’t behave like an 8 year old). Also, I hope that in amongst all the stresses and strains of everyday life I’ll take some memories of my kids being kids and how wonderful it is. The snuggles and cuddles, the mad things they say, the pictures they draw, the kind things they do.

4. What did you have for breakfast today? (Just trying to lighten things up.)

I am notoriously rubbish at eating breakfast, often it gets skipped as I can’t face food first thing. Today I managed the last toastable slice of a loaf toasted with butter and honey, the crust of said loaf untoasted with jam and the crust of the pumpkin and raisin bread we had yesterday with butter on. And a cup of tea, of course. (just for the record the delicous bread was bought from our local farmers market, not home made).

5. What’s your go-to music on a beautiful spring day?

I’m a bit musically dyslexic, I remember tunes but not the name of them or the band name so I struggle with this kind of question. I think I might go for Love Cats by the Cure as my favourite radio station (6 music) plays it a lot and I always turn the volume up and dance around the kitchen. It’s pretty upbeat so that fits in with spring, right?

6. What’s your favorite meal at a restaurant?

It needs to have some good vegetables with it, restuarant meals are often lacking on greens or have some badly cooked veg. I usually opt for something I wouldn’t cook at home, a nice homemade pie is good, organic chicken (to aleviate the guilt) and leek maybe. Then again, there’s a cracking turkish cafe in town which does amazing food, so maybe that.

7. When was the last time you had a really hearty belly laugh?

I have a vague memory of one in the last couple of days but can’t remember what it was about so maybe I’m making it up.

8. Would you rather prune a plant outside in the garden, or give your a house a thorough cleaning?

Depends on my mood. I do like to be outside, but when the mood strikes nothing beats the feeling of having done some serious spring cleaning.

9. What is the biggest message you’ve taken away from your fellow bloggers?

That there are other sane people out there who sometimes have a tough time with their mental health. I know sane is possibly an odd word to use when discussing mental health blogs, but I’m talking about attitudes, ways of life, people that I can connect with, people that “speak to my condition” to use a Quaker phrase. It’s easy to think the world is full of “normal” people, who have no problems with their mental health and really ill people that are in and out of hospital and sturggle to fit in with the world. That’s what the media shows us. And then when you have problems you don’t know where you fit in, you’re neither one thing or the other. Getting your knickers in a twist about opening your mail becuase you don’t know what’s inside it (not because you’re expecting anything particularly bad) clearly isn’t “normal”, but it doesn’t feel like being “properly mentally ill” either, so on top of all the other stress it’s causing you, you feel isolated too and not sure if you have a “proper” problem or not. It’s nice to now that there are people like me, with kids and jobs and in laws and the like, with similar views of the world to me, who probably look “normal” from the outside, who can hold down a conversation, but also that they struggle sometimes with their mental health.

10. If you could live in another country, where would it be?

Norway, although I may have to sleep through the winter. I’ve been there in the summer and it was amazing and the langauage is beautiful.

11. If you won an Academy Award, who would you thank in your acceptance speech?

My husband, without a doubt.

Now I just need to figure out some blogs to nominate. Most of the blogs I follow are sewing related. I have another blog where I put my sewing related suff, but whilst I don’t mind telling people who read this blog about my sewing blog, I’m a little cautious about telling people who read my sewing blog about this one, I mean, some of them know me in actual life and it has photo’s of me on and I am still clinging on to secrecy about my problems with every ounce of strength in my fingers like it’s my only hope (against all evidence to the contrary, I know I should tell people, just not yet ok).

Of the few that are left, a couple have more than 200 followers, way more. And the few that are left, well I don’t feel that I know them so well and it feels a bit cheeky to ask them questions, plus half of them are dormant with no posts for over 6 months.

So, I’m gonna break the rule book and suggest some questions, and if you feel you want to answer them, do so on your own blog and put a link to it in the comments below. Maybe it’s not how it’s meant to be done but approaching strangers and asking them personal questions is just so against my very Britishness I can’t cope with it! Anyone can play, seasoned bloggers with trillions of blogger who’ve done it before or complete newbies with no followers at all. (I just hope at least one person plays or I’ll look like billy no mates!)

1) What brought you to blogging?

2) What do you get out of blogging?

3) What would you do instead if your town/village/district was cut off from all internet connections for a loong time (say 6 months).

4) If you could have a robot made to take care of one daily chore what would it be?

5) If you were to write a supportive comment on your own blog what would it say? (Go on, be as nice to yourself as you are to others, no critism or put me downs)

6) What is your goto emergency quick meal at home?

7) What was the last good book you read?

I’m going to stop at 7, it’s still prime.

3 thoughts on “Liebster Lite

  1. I’m sorry to have put you on the spot and made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intent at all, and I fully respect your Britishness. 🙂

    Your experience with a miscarriage sounds heartbreaking…I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to get through that. And I completely agree with you that parenting is difficult and intense at all stages – the challenges are just different.

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