I have fallen into a pit of apathy. I’m not sure I can be bothered to do anything right now, except possibly sleep. I know there’s lots to do, a huge pile of washing up to start with, and something to scrape together for tea as I’ll be busy looking after extra kids after school and a general tidy up certainly wouldn’t go amis (and that’s before I start thinking about a proper to do list). But I have no enthusiasm what so ever.

After the school drop off today I was persuaded to go to a circuits class in the park. Circuits is not my kind of thing. Any way, I went, there were a load of mums, most of whom I didn’t know, and a few toddlers and babies in push chairs. The circuit class wasn’t as bad as I feared (it had been described to me as “horrendous”, very encouraging), despite my bra strap breaking half way through and the teacher trying to tie it together – a feat which involved me standing with my t shirt hoiked up in the middle of a local park feeling very exposed as my belly was on view to the world. Actually, I got to do alternatives to some of the higher impact stuff after that, so in a way it made things easier.

But having coped better than I thought, come home, eaten toast and jam (not the best choice but I was after something comforting and despite my best efforts I hadn’t had much breakfast today) and had a shower I feel not just physically tired but mentally drained. Which is strange, because normally going for a run leaves me with a buzz of endorphins and a sense of acheivement.

So is this a case of wrong exercise or is something else going on? File that question for later I think. In the mean time I need a plan to get me going. But my brain is blank. Brain reboot needed. Where’s the manual for that…

Or maybe I just need to wait for the weather to break. We’re due some heavy rain later and it’s very humid today. I’ve never liked humid weather, it saps all my energy, it used to give me headaches as a teenager.

Right, I’m going to get up and do something. Now. Any second now.

No really

I am

4 thoughts on “Slump

  1. Ouch. I recognise that feeling so, so well. Go easy on yourself. You tried endorphins, they’re not helping a whole lot so maybe today is just going to be an off day. Path of least resistance (new favourite motto in our house) – do what you have to, and I really hope tomorrow is better for you. Take care of you x

    • Writing helped me acknowledge how I was feeling even if it didn’t help me come up with a plan. Then I had a sleep and just woken up with a plan. Have a sandwich as I need to eat (leftovers in the fridge here I come) and skipping meals and eating rubbish never helps. Go and buy easy food for tea as we will all need to eat later (hope walk helps). Once home, have brew, fingers crossed I’m up to doing a little last minute tidying/washing up before the school run. Right, off we go. ps can’t seem to get a comment up on your blog today. big cyber hugs for yesterday. Tell bitchface from me that it’s amazing you even turned up considering how ill you’ve been recently. Well done.

      • 🙂 thank you. I’m glad you slept, sometimes the only thing that will shift a really bad mood for me is sleep, it’s almost as if my mind needs to reset. Your plan for the day sounds spot on – bare minimum of tidying please!! Mind yourself x

  2. I hope that your day turned around into something more positive for you.

    My guess on the endorphins? Perhaps in a mathematical sense, since you like math … 🙂

    anxiety and discomfort from a different routine for you (circuits)
    obvious social anxiety from a bra strap breaking (!!!)
    endorphins from exercise

    So you had the endorphins, but there was so much other negative energy happening that you didn’t end up feeling the benefit of the endorphins.

    Or, maybe it was just an off day, and tomorrow you will wake up feeling energized and productive (she says hopefully)!

Please leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s