Family resemblences

So, last night I was still upset about trying to communicate with school, today I’ve taken a step sideways. I wanted to leave it for a bit, calm down, let my subconcious work out what to do. Instead I find myself noticing all the ways I’ve reacted that show similarities in some way with my son.

I don’t like confrontation. A teacher defending herself and the school by explaining to me that they think they have communicated with me (when I’d pointed out I thought they could do better), just makes me think that she’s cross with me. So I get upset. Actually I don’t know if this is like him. But it is definitely true that I don’t like confrontations and I don’t like feeling like I’ve made people cross, especially not people I like and respect.

Like him, I don’t like surprises. I didn’t realise this. I think I cope with surprised much better than him, but maybe that’s just because my added life experience makes me expect a wider range of possible events. But I wasn’t expecting you to talk to me about what I’d written when I’d emailed it to someone else and she’d replied. I thought I understood the rules of communication. I talk to you, you answer me. I email her, she emails me back. But I email her and then you talk to me about it. This I don’t get. Does this mean I struggle with the rules of communication? Or do schools just have different rules from the rest of us.

I don’t like things that don’t fit, things that are uneven, things not as they should be. I find my son doesn’t cope with things that don’t fit into his scheme of logic, so maybe this is another way we’re similar. Anwyay, this one is a big part of my reason for being frustrated that I didn’t know about this Thrive documentation. Because, Mrs Senco, you told me I’d seen all his school records, and then you told me that he didn’t have an IEP because you were using different documentation that I didn’t know about and haven’t seen. And I like my equations to balance. And All His School Records does not equal All His School Records Apart From One. And this irks me. The unbalancedness of it, the uncompleteness of it. Please don’t think I think you’re deliberately misleading me (I don’t) or that you’re using the wrong records (I don’t). Take this as me gently marking your work in green pen, that X = X-1 is wrong, so that you can realise your mistake and learn from it.

Also Mrs Senco, I printed out and re read your SEN policy last night. It says mentions Home School Action Plans (which I think are the new IEP’s) and that children on a school action should have them. But it doesn’t say unless we’re using Thrive documentation instead. Again, you may think that I’m arguing for him to have a HSAP, well I’m not. Or that I think Thrive documentation is inferior to an HSAP, which I don’t. What I think is that if your policy is in some cases to use Thrive documentation instead of HSAP’s to avoid duplication, then it should say so in your SEN policy. Because it’s your policy, you wrote it, so why would you write something down that’s different to what you actaully do. This does not make any sense in my world, it is a flaw that irritates my logic, and I don’t like it.

And I get frustrated when I don’t feel I’ve been listened to, when I think someone has missed my point. I find it difficult to move on. I just want to repeat the same things over and over again. Whilst getting crosser. Just look at this blog post. On some levels this is very like him.

8 thoughts on “Family resemblences

  1. I think you’re trying to wrap your mind around an awful lot. I find confrontation very difficult and I can’t imagine tackling all that you are. I hope that despite being overwhelmed, and frustrated, and maybe anxious about the family resemblances, that you can take a minute for some self-compassion too. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Progress | A is for Anxiety

Please leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s