The summer holidays have been pretty good so far. Yes, the kids have been exasperating at times and yes I’ve lost my temper at times, but on the whole things have been going well. They’ve had swimming lessons and seen friends and joined in with some kid friendly past their bedtime activities that would be out of the question in term time. Bed time and getting up have been more relaxed and I’ve stayed in bed until 8 a few times.

The few things I thought I had planned turned into a few more and the past week has not had nearly enough mooching about, but we’ve survived. And I managed 3 early morning runs (although that tailed off recently) and did some relaxing yoga (link via Sunny Spells for 8 mins of relaxing yoga that I’ve now lost) both alone and with my son.

And today was the first day of hubbies leave and tomorrow we go away together and there is an amazing kids program so I’ll get some adult time. Oh and I sorted out a load of admin for my voluntary stuff so I don’t have to feel like I’m letting people down whilst I’m away.

So why oh why do I suddenly feel rubbish. It came on all of a sudden, my stomach flipped and I felt anxious. I can’t settle to anything, I’m agitated, I can’t work out what to do, when I do try and work out what to do my brain produces a torrent of things I should be doing in too much of a rush for me to think about and I feel overwhelmed and hopeless as I know I can’t do any of them.

And now Bitchface is having a field day because I’m doing nothing useful and leaving hubby to put the kids to bed and it’s late (we ended up out later than planned today) and that gives us even less time and it’s not fair on him and to top it all I’m wasting time blogging so I’m clearly capable of something just nothing useless.

Oh and did I mention that I’m feeling decidedly fat and frumpy (with corroborating evidence from tight skirts) but all I can think of doing about that is comfort eating.

Not good.

Luckily Hubbie seams to be on top form, noticing, trying to communicate with me and being very patient. So hopefully we/he can prioritise the to do list and get us organised to go away.

Which is good because I don’t really feel like working out where to start at self care right now let alone doing it.

I think I may have glimpsed a few things in the corner of my minds eye when starting this blog post, contributing factors. I’m pretty sure my period is due. I’ve let the running slide. The week got busy. There’s not been enough down time. People stayed over one night so I didn’t have as much privacy. Maybe I’m nervous about going away (I didn’t think I was). Also the last time we went to a similar place I had to leave early because my dad died.

Anyway, hubbie has now got the overtired kids to sleep single handed (he’s amazing) and is downstairs being practical, so, time to take a deep breath and go and join in. I think I’ll start with the washing up…

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