Dear Brain

Dear Brain,

I like you, I really do, in fact you’re all I’ve got, so don’t take this the wrong way, but…

You really are stupid.

Sorry to be blunt, but there’s no other word for it. How else can you keep doing things that you know are bad for you.

I could list many things here (eating habits, sleeping habits, general tidyness and organisation) but I think we both know what I’m talking about.

The little cycle of “oh, I’ve not done that quite as quickly as I’d’ve liked / I don’t have time to do it to my exacting high standards right now so I’ll not do it and then pretend I’m not thinking about it and then worry about letting people down and then catasrophise what’s going to happen as I’ve not done it so try and ignore it some more and then worry about how much they must hate me some more and so try and ignore it more and then …… etc, all the while, the stomach twisting guilt and anxiety is gnawing a hole in your stomach that grows bigger however much you try and ignore it, popping up in all aspects of your life, making you grumpy and irritable, flashing horrid things in your mind, making the task in hand harder to face, until when you finally do decide to face it you have to build up to it in small stages, dragging things out further, like a plaster being slowly ripped off” and then eventually, you do it, and guess what, it wasn’t that big a deal. And you resolve not to get in this pickle again. But you do. Over and over and over again. And sometimes you never do the thing and the person in question forgets all about it but it just adds to the pile of unnamed worry growing in the corner of your mind that gives you those mornings when you wake up with a pit in your stomach and just want to hide under the duvet until the world goes away.

So, dear you. Please change this appalling useless habit of yours before either a real catasrophe happens or you worry your life away. We both know it’s for the best. Love me x

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