December To Do List:
In Laws visit Husband Ill 3 days of consecutive kids concerts to go to Brother and sister in law visit Nativity play
- Other Brother visits
- Visit Brother in law, wife and new baby
I thought I was doing so well, getting through the list. But last night, I found out that the last item has been altered. My sister in law has invited the in laws at the same time as we’re there. I’m not coping well with this news. I want to yell “I’ve done seeing inlaws, they’re crossed off the list, don’t add them back on! I find them really quite stressful to be around. They treat my husband and I like we’re 14, whisper in corners, and parent over us. My father in law has been known to tell my son off for talking as we’re all sat around for a meal and also for running on a beach. For running on a beach! I feel trapped into either quietly accepting their behaviour or making a scene and potentially causing a rift, I can’t seem to find the middle ground, so I constantly bite my toungue and a little bit more of my self respect dies.
Meeting my brother in law, his wife, and their new baby is something I was looking forward to, and we were trying to manage it carefully so that we don’t make life stressful to them, we’re travelling on day one, staying 2 nights, travelling back on day 3, and we’re staying at a nearby B&B, not with them. Doing this with my in laws there, disapproving, interfering, fills me with dread. I am completely baffled as to why my sister in law has invited them, I know she finds them stressful too. I’m confused, annoyed, and mostly panicked. I lay awake last night wondering if I could get away with pulling a sickie and how/if my husband would cope.
And of course Bitchface is having a field day, telling me to stop being pathetic and get over it. To pull myself together. And to stop moping about (I’m feeling pretty paralised and unable to get on with things).
I know I need to talk to my husband about this, but we don’t seem to be communicating well at the moment and I don’t know where to start. All the guilt pours in, my guilt and finding his family stressful, his guilt and his family being stressful, our combined helplessness in finding effective ways of dealing with it all, and one of us gets cross or upset.